JADE
Film me.
JADE goes to the bedroom door and knocks.
JUNE
Are you still here?
JADE
Halmoni…
I’M SORRY FOR THE THINGS I SAID
SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED YOUR WORDS INSTEAD
BUT NOW I’LL CHOOSE TO LISTEN
TELL ME ALL ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AGAIN…
JUNE
Why? It’s not what “really matters.”
JADE
YOU’RE CAUSING DEATHS, OR SO THEY CLAIM
YOU’VE GOT A HUNCH YOU’RE BEING FRAMED
WE GOTTA STOP THIS REPUTATION SMEARER
I WANNA HELP YOU CLEAR YOUR NAME
SO HALMONI…
OPEN UP AND COME OUTSIDE
I’LL BE STAYIN’ BY YOUR SIDE
TOGETHER WE CAN CONQUER THIS
IN A PARTNERSHIP, PARTNERSHIP
JUST LIKE SHERLOCK NEEDED HOLMES
YOU WON’T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN
I’LL STICK AROUND TILL YOU CALL IT QUITS
LET’S FORM A PARTNERSHIP, PARTNERSHIP
(whispering urgently to DEAN)
Help me!
DEAN
(dancing)
PART TO THE, TO THE
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
SHIP TO THE, TO THE
PART-NER-SHIP
JADE, DEAN
(JADE joins the dancing)
PART TO THE, TO THE
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
SHIP TO THE
LET’S FORM A PARTNERSHIP
JUNE emerges from her room.
JUNE
Sherlock and Holmes are the same person.
JADE
Then who’s the chubby guy he hangs out with?
JUNE
Watson.
JADE
Well, I’ll be the Holmes to your Watson.
JUNE
Nope. Other way around.
DEAN
Halmoni Holmes!
JADE
Ok, ok. So tell us, what do you need?
JUNE
You’ll actually listen to me this time?
JADE
(for the camera)
I’m all ears.
JUNE
I WAS SO DISTRAUGHT BY EDGAR’S DOOM
DEAN
Understandable.
JUNE
THAT I LEFT THAT BOTTLE IN HIS ROOM
JADE
His Viagra?
JUNE
THAT’S HOW WE’LL DETECT WHO KILLED HIM
I’VE GOT TO GET THOSE PILLS, AND SOON!
DEAN
How do you know they’re still there?
JUNE
They haven’t cleaned out his apartment yet…
JADE
I got it!
WE’LL SAY YOU LEFT SOMETHING BEHIND
SOMETHING PRECIOUS YOU’VE JUST GOT TO FIND
JUNE removes a bracelet from her wrist.
JUNE
Like a bracelet?
JADE
Perfect!
JUNE places the bracelet in a pocket.
JUNE
ONCE WE’RE IN, THEN WE’LL GRAB THAT BOTTLE!
JADE
ARE YOU SEEING HOW OUR BRAINS JUST GOT ALIGNED?
JUNE
YEAH, NOW I SEE!
WE’RE GONNA STOP THIS THREAD OF CRIME
JADE
ALL THE WHILE GETTIN’ QUALITY TIME
JUNE, JADE
WE WERE APART, NOW THE OPPOSITE
WITH OUR PARTNERSHIP, PARTNERSHIP
DEAN
AND DEAN TOO!
JADE JUNE, DEAN
GLAD YOU’VE WELCOMED US ON BOARD PARTNERSHIP!
WE’LL LEAVE NO CORNER UNEXPLORED PARTNERSHIP!
I KNOW THIS VILLAIN WE CAN ALL OUTWIT
JADE, JUNE, DEAN
THANKS TO OUR PARTNERSHIP, PARTNERSHIP
Abrupt transition to CARA’S office.
CARA
What exactly did you leave at Edgar’s?
JUNE
My bracelet. It must have fallen off while we were –
CARA
Can this wait until tomorrow? I’m trying to be…
JADE
Early for CrossFit?
CARA
Yes.
JADE
Does your boss know that you close the office one whole hour before you’re supposed to?
CARA
I’m the manager here.
JADE
(reading a business card on CARA’S desk)
Yes, but Happy Pleasant Valley is owned by… Senior Tenement Incorporated?
CARA
Are you threatening me?
JADE
No, I’m just asking for a couple minutes of your time on-the-clock to let us into a unit, find a bracelet, and get out.
CARA gives JADE a key.
CARA
Here. Drop it in the box when you’re done.
JADE
Thank you!
They exit CARA’S office.
JUNE
Jade, that was unbelievable!
JADE
Let’s get to Edgar’s!
Scene transitions to EDGAR’S apartment.
JUNE
SOME JERK IS ON A KILLING SPREE!
I THOUGHT I COULD ONLY RELY ON ME
BUT YOU’RE HELPING ME OUTTA THIS JAM
NOW I’M ON THE CASE WITH FAMILY!
JADE
HALMONI, WE’LL BE HERE FOR YOU
DEAN
SO JUST TELL US WHAT TO DO
JADE, DEAN
AT YOUR DISPOSAL, STANDING HIP TO HIP
IN OUR PARTNERSHIP, PARTNERSHIP!
DEAN
WE’LL MAKE THE PROBLEM GO AWAY!
JADE
AND MAKE SURE YOU’VE GOT A PLACE TO STAY!
JADE, DEAN & JUNE
WE’RE GASSED UP, NOW LET’S START THE TRIP
OF OUR PARTNERSHIP, PARTNERSHIP
JADE, DEAN
(dancing)
PART- TO THE, TO THE
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
SHIP TO THE, TO THE
PART-NER-SHIP
PART- TO THE, TO THE
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
SHIP TO THE
HERE’S TO OUR PARTNERSHIP!
JADE, DEAN & JUNE
(JUNE joins the dancing)
PART- TO THE, TO THE
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
SHIP TO THE, TO THE
PART-NER-SHIP
PART- TO THE, TO THE
NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH-NUH
SHIP TO THE
HERE’S TO OUR PARTNERSHIIIP!